Today at church, everything that I heard was pretty much aimed at me...from the worship songs to the sermon to our ladies Sunday school class...it was directed from God to me. These past few weeks I've been struggling with a life I've lived in the past. I thought that God would never forgive me nor take me back because I constantly deal with this. It's one of those things where I do it, repent and not do it for a while, then it comes back. It's a vicious cycle I deal with. This time it seemed, for some reason, worse. I ended up dropping my digital cable and have just the basic cable (channels 2 thru 22, and sometimes ESPN). I also uninstalled my chatting devices. The reason is is because God convicted me of what I was doing. I told a friend of mine that I KNOW that I know that I know that I'm a child of the King because of the strong convictions that I've had these past few weeks. It's amazing. I knew that He loved me, but I honestly turned my back on Him for at least a few days...well for about a week. It breaks my heart now to know that I broke His. I look up to God and ask, "why do you still love me? After all that I've done to you or not done for you, why do you still want me?" Like everything that I heard today at church, it's all about His grace. There's a hymn that we sang this morning:
"Grace, grace, God's grace. Grace that will pardon and cleanse within. Grace, grace, God's grace. Grace that is greater than all our sin."
That's really the only song that I remember singing...and we sang several good ones. But that one in particular stood out to me and what I had gone through. God's grace is bigger than anything I could do or think of doing. It's a gift. We don't deserve it, yet He lavishes it out to us on a daily basis! I know that I am in awe of how much He loves us and cares for our well-being. He only wants the best for us. Did you know that? Even though you think you're going through the toughest thing, it's only going to make you a better person. God has His reasons for what's going on; like I know that He has a plan in what I went through. I didn't really like the fact that I turned my back on Him and did what I did, but honestly, He knew it was going to happen. He knows how to get you through it. You/I have to just trust Him and lean on Him when things get tough. It's hard to do, but if you do it, the results will be awesome!
2 comments:
Good word sista!! I can honestly say I know what you mean. There are things in my past that I am too ashamed to say but through that God has opened doors for me to talk to young ladies and hopefully help them not make those same mistakes. God will use this for His glory you just have to let Him!!
God has a plan for our lives even if we can't see it through the mess. It is all for a reason, whether for us or for us to be a witness now or in the future.
"Trust in Lord with all you heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your path." Proverbs 3:5-6
This has been my life verse since I became a christian when I was 16. We are not perfect and God knows it already. His grace is always sufficient for us.
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